It has been foooorrreeevvveer since I last wrote a post. Okay Okay, let me not be so dramatic, maybe not forever, but it has been a long time. So much has been happening in my life, which has left me feeling very unmotivated to post.

Coupled with this, I was having a classic case of self-imposed peer pressure.

Self Imposed Peer pressure is a thing?

Photo by Jake Pierrelee on Unsplash

I was surprised to find out that this was an actual thing, a lot of research has been done on this.

Self Imposed peer pressure is imagining the thoughts of your peers, what their judgments will be concerning a particular decision you have made, and changing your actions based on this.

It is the worst case of pressure as you are making changes to your actions based on what your think others will say, not necessarily what they actually said to you.

This is self-sabotage simply based on assumptions and what I have been doing in different areas of my life, but most especially my writings.

I began a blog during the start of the Coronavirus pandemic to simply jot down my thoughts about certain things and to document certain aspects of my life in hopes that it helps anyone reading.

However, I fell into a big trap, the trap of montization.

I joined some Facebook groups to meet other bloggers, share my blog link with them, and learn from them, simple right. Well, I did get the opportunity to do this, but I also got to see well-established bloggers who were making money from their writings.

I got bombarded with these Facebook tips such as finding a niche, monetizing my site, the Importance of SEO, etc. Gaining This knowledge was fantastic as I had no idea of these aspects before starting out.

Two months after starting my blog, I lost any motivation to write at all. I got so overwhelmed with improving my site, spent hours learning SEO, reading on Google Adsense, etc, I forgot what was most important, writing.

Was this my intention while joining? Nope.

I began to search for a particular niche to write about, as the experts had claimed this will be helpful, this led me to doubt if I should write at all, as I could not find a particular niche.

Sigh! So much stress.

Fast forward 6 months, I have come to understand the importance of doing your own thing. Figuring out what works for you not only removes the undue pressure you are in, it rekindles the passion you have for what you are doing.

We are all individually unique and this should be seen in anything we do.

What this means is I do not have a niche for my blog, I cover a wide range of topics and thoughts and that is fine.

If you are in this same boat, facing peer pressure, especially if its self imposed, there are two ways to improve on this. These two are not the only ways available, but there are the two that have been helping me pick what I should feel pressured in and what I should not.

Figuring out your passions are

There is a quote I heard and it is one of the quotes I refer to from time to time.

If you do not stand for something, you fall for everything.

I was not firm with what I wanted my blog to be about. I knew I wanted to write but I was not sure what it will be about. Therefore when I joined these Facebook groups, it was easy to get overwhelmed with the tips and opinions of others.

Don’t get me wrong, asking and receiving advice itself is not bad, however receiving advice just for the sake of it without shifting it with the plan you have, is a bad idea.

Now I know what I want for my blog, and when asking for tips or feedback, I do this with this idea in mind. This applies to other areas of my life as well.

Dealing with fear

Peer pressure generally thrives in fear. Fear of being alone, fear of not been accepted, etc. Self-imposed pressure works the same way. The desire to be loved and accepted, to be patronized ( if you have a business ), leads to changes in our words and actions, just to fit in.

One of the “rules” of these groups is to drop your blog link to get feedback, I did and got both positive and negative feedback.

This enhanced the fear, as not only did I want to have a perfect blog, but I wanted to have a blog that should I chose to, I could monetize. The feedback I got was not in favor of this.

This created an obsession to create a perfect blog. An obsession I have given up on to focus more on writing, but it was not an easy place to get to.

However, It is a place that can be achieved.

Suffice to say, I will be consistent with my posts, sharing my thoughts on different aspects and experiences. I have regained my love for writing.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Missed my last post, you can catch up on my last post here.


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